Step into the storm: How to Find Courage When You’re Most Afraid.
I grew up in Johannesburg, South Africa, a region notorious for its electric storms.
At age 4, I was terrified of how the lightning cracked open the night sky without provocation or warning—the minute one bolt of light broke its way across the night, I would sail headfirst under my bed.
One night, during a particularly scary storm, my father pulled on his trusted Wellington boots, pulled me out from beneath the comfort of my blankets, and carried me out into the pouring rain, holding me against his chest. Every time lightning cut through the dark silence, he would marvel at it and invite me to do the same. When thunder would roar, he’d roar back, and I, unable to resist, joined in.
In between the flashes and roars, my father showed me how the rain washed the thick layer of dust off the plants, how it soaked into the ground, and gave each plant exactly what was needed to hydrate and grow. He told me how the water nurtured the plants, how those plants provided food for insects, beetles, and spiders, and how those bugs, in turn, would become part of the food chain.
And there we stood, getting drenched in the warmth of the water and the wonder. I watched as the plants and bugs paid no heed to the lightning or the thunder, impacted only by the wind that occasionally spun them where they stood. And in that moment, I learned that sometimes what is scary is sometimes necessary—for life and for growth.
The lessons he taught me that night went beyond the biological inner workings of an ecosystem. He set the foundation for the research and work I would do with my clients many years later. He helped me discover one of the fiercest weapons against fear—curiosity. That curiosity gave me space to learn, grow, and change—and to identify and face what was truly scaring me, which, looking back, was more about feeling helpless and small and confused.
Finding the calm within the storm.
For high achievers, paralyzing fear can take many different forms.
The fear of not being “good enough” (darn you, imposter syndrome)
The fear of not getting it exactly right (you too, perfectionism)
The fear of dreaming too big
The fear of failing in your business
The fear of not getting the promotion your heart is set on
The fear of asking for more money
The fear of stepping into your power, because then all eyes will be on you!
To you high achievers, take note: every one of these fears is natural, normal, and evolutionary. Your brain is wired for your survival—not your ultimate happiness. It’s geared toward your genetic potential—not your wildest dreams.
If you know your fears are holding you back from your greatest impact, that’s ok—good even. It means you know that what you currently have is worth protecting.
It also means you’re also aware of what’s possible on the other side of it.
To get past fear, you must first face it.
Once you know what you’re facing, you’re better positioned to get curious and, perhaps, turn your fear into something a bit more helpful.
If you find yourself in the grips of fear and hesitating to take action on something that could open the door to something new, use that pause to your advantage.
Take a deep breath.
Pretend to face that fear head-on.
Ask yourself the following questions:
If this fear came to life, what’s the worst thing that could happen?
And if that worst thing happened, what could you do about it?
If the fear never comes to life, what’s the best thing that could happen?
And if the best thing happened, what would that mean for you?
Fear alone isn’t a bad thing. It’s simply a response to the unknown, the uncomfortable, and the uncontrollable. More often than not, your fear is sending you a clear signal of what you’re meant to conquer next—if you ask it the right questions.
My fear of storms as a child opened my eyes to a brand new world—and my calling in life.
What are your fears telling you?