Is change actually desirable—and even part of our DNA?

I was five years old the day my Gran taught me a critical life lesson—although it was decades later when I finally learned it.

Blue skies and cottony clouds hid the sun as we waded into a pond, rainboots barely keeping the water at bay. We were collecting water samples for analysis. Gran held up two jars for me to inspect. One was short and wide. The other was tall and narrow. She turned to me, that sly grin on her face telling me she was about to test my knowledge. “Which jar will hold more water?” she asked.

As an accomplished microbiologist, Gran took every opportunity to teach me whatever she could, not only about science, but about thinking for myself. I desperately wanted to impress her by getting it right. I inspected the jars thoroughly, but the more I imagined the disbursement of pond water, the more I realized the truth and smiled wide. Both jars held the same amount of water! I shyly shared my findings with Gran, who flashed me a thumbs-up sign. I felt accomplished, satisfied, and—with my Gran’s validation—victorious.

Gran taught me a valuable lesson that day far beyond how to measure liquid volume we’d collected in those jars. It was a lesson in changing the shape of things.

There’s a lot of talk these days about “embracing change,” and I don’t need to tell you that’s easier said than done. Change is inherently uncomfortable. It is sometimes (and sometimes at the same time) unpredictable, emotional, and annoying.

It is also inevitable.

Here’s the good news: Your brain is wired for change. Our brains continue to create new neural pathways in response to new experiences up until the day we die, making us biologically equipped to learn with every new situation and information.

That’s what learning is after all—a change in understanding, experience, and exposure.

And sometimes, it’s a change of perspective.

I recall the lesson of Gran’s jars every time I’m faced with change I don’t want. Because I can’t change the change—but I can change the shape of it.

Brain science says that with enough time and effort, we can wire our brains to give us the results we want. Whatever may be holding us back—be that nagging perfectionism, imposter syndrome, feeling inferior, or something else—we can train our brains to choose a different path that actually serves us.

If you find yourself constantly reacting to a situation in a way that doesn’t reflect the person you are—or better yet—the person you want to be, there are a few things you can do to invite your brain to do what it does best: spark new connections, reinforce pathways of understanding, and endlessly evolve.

Here are three ways you can make your brain a formidable ally in the face of change.

Get curious. New change requires your mind’s inspection; so, make curiosity your default attitude. Write “Remain Open” on your hand, put it in your phone, and stick it to the wall on a post-it note to remind yourself to ask questions, endlessly inspect, and unveil exciting new pathways of thought and understanding.
Be present. Keep your attention where it needs to be when it needs to be there. Live every day with focus and purpose. While the effects of change can distract and deplete us, an attentive and present mind creates depth and determination.
Repeat. Repetition is the only way to forge an iron-clad neural pathway. We embrace change when we forge new pathways. We create better more life-giving habits when we reinforce those pathways through repetition.

Doing the above will do two things. It will remind you that you always have a choice when it comes to how you perceive and react to the world—and it will prove to you that your brain can indeed be “programmed” to reflect your desired state, requiring less and less effort over time.

Like anything worth doing, it requires commitment, courage, and clarity. It may also require accountability and the occasional tough love when you lose your way or your why. A good coach can do this with relentless accuracy (in fact, it’s one of my favorite parts of what I do). I find the key that unlocks the most enduring, positive, and productive changes is dedicated support, coupled with a deep knowledge of how the brain and body can work together to create a life of endless and powerful possibilities.

Whether you want to make healthier choices, be a stronger leader, be a more curious parent, or shake off imposter syndrome so you can confidently share your knowledge with the world, changing the shape of your life is a conscious choice and a conscious effort. Your brain is up to the task. So are you. And so am I, when you’re ready.

All you have to do is choose.

Candace Ristic offers high-impact coaching for high-performing women around the world. Find out how she taps into brain science and breathwork to deliver unstoppable performance, elevated creativity, and insight-driven personal growth here.